How to Prevent Your Child from Drinking and Drugging: Awareness of Drinking Behaviors That
Adults Model
Dear Dr. Steve:My best
friend’s thirteen-year old son was arrested last week. It seems he got drunk, stole a
car, and went for a joy ride. I must say in some ways I’m not all that surprised.
Although he’s only thirteen, he’s got a wild streak and we heard the rumors of
some of his escapades. Be that as it may, this has been a real wake-up call for me and my
husband. Our kids are nine, fourteen and fifteen. We realize how lackadaisical we’ve
been up to now in regards to helping our children form healthy, responsible attitudes
about drugs and alcohol. I feel really panicked, like it’s too late, that I
should have addressed this earlier. I don’t want to scare them to death. But I do
want them to know the difference between responsible and irresponsible use of drugs and
alcohol. What can I do to make sure that my children make good responsible choices about
drugs and alcohol?
I admire
the proactive attitude that you’re adopting. There are many things that you can do to
teach your children about the responsible use of alcohol and other drugs. Perhaps
you’ve been teaching them all along without your even knowing. For the attitudes and
choices that you’ve modeled for your children about how you use alcohol and other
drugs have already begun to shape your children’s attitudes. As your children have
watched the grown ups around them consume alcohol and other drugs, what your children have
observed about these grown-ups drinking and drugging behavior has already influenced your
children’s attitudes about their own drinking.
Below is
a list of different motives that your children may have observed adults use to drink
alcohol. As you read these about these different motives, think about the different
motives that your children have been exposed to. Think about the impact these different
motives have on the formative attitudes that your children are developing about drugs and
alcohol.
Stress
reduction: How often does your child see an adult gulp down a drink first thing in the
evening after a hard day at work? How often does your child see an adult run to the
refrigerator for a beer or the bar for a mixed drink after an argument? How often does
your child see an adult use alcohol as a way of alleviating emotional discomfort? How
often does your children see an adult pop a pill or a smoke a joint to bring relief to
their emotional duress? What message do these different scenarios give to your children?
What attitudes do these scenarios shape about drinking?
Mood
Enhancers: How often does your child see an adult nursing a drink as a way of picking
up their spirits? How often does your child see an adult transform a sullen mood into a
euphoric or boisterous mood by ingesting some mood altering substance? How often does your
child see an adult take a stiff belt to summon up the courage to face a difficult
moment? What message do these different scenarios give to your children? What attitudes do
these scenarios shape within your children about drinking?
Inappropriate
use of drugs and alcohol: How often has your child seen an adult drink beyond their
limits at a party or family function? How often has your child witnessed an adult’s
inappropriate behavior as a result of their excessive drinking? How often has your child
seen an adult revered for their excessive drinking and resultant inappropriate behavior?
Does your child listen to adults romanticize and glamorize the use of drugs and alcohol?
How often has your child seen an adult drink and drive? How often has your child seen an
adult drink operate a water vehicle? What message do these different scenarios give to
your children? What attitudes do these scenarios shape within your children about
drinking?
Drink
to get drunk: How often does your child see an adult drink to the point of being
drunk? How often does your child see an alcoholic drink in an out of control fashion? What
associations does your child begin to form about the purpose of drinking when they only
see the point of drinking being to be drunk and out of control? What message does this
scenario give to your children? What attitude does this scenario shape within your
children about drinking?
Abstinence:
What impact on your children and their early formative attitudes towards drugs and
alcohol would a household where drugs and alcohol were not consumed have? Research
indicates that two environmental cues that have a strong impact on your children becoming
non-drinkers: 1.) An abstinent household, 2.) An active spiritual life. Certainly there
are no guarantees but think about the following question. How would your children’s
formative attitudes about drugs and alcohol be impacted by the message drugs and
alcohol are not a necessary part of life?
Pathfinder’s
Checklist
1.)
Read Dr. Steve Frisch’s, Psy.D. series of Recovery books, From Insanity to Serenity.
These books focus on chemical dependency, how to raise alcohol and other drugs free
children, and Recovery for both the chemically dependent individual and their friends and
family members.
2.) Read
Fact Sheets about How to Raise an Alcohol and Drug-Free Child
3.) Read Fact Sheets about Information
About Alcohol and Other Drugs
4.) Read the
Fact Sheet, Referrals
5.) Read Fact
Sheet, Warning Signs of Alcohol and Other Drugs Abuse
6.) Read
Entering the World of Your Child: How to Nurture Your Child’s Spirit by Dr.
Steve Frisch, Psy.D.
7.) Read A Parent’s
Guide for Protecting Their Children From Alcohol and Other Drugs by Dr. Steve Frisch,
Psy.D.
8.) Read But I’m Not The One With the Problem: How to Cope With a Loved One Who
Abuses Alcohol and Other Drugs, by Dr. Steve Frisch, Psy.D.
G.B.U.
Steve
Recover
from chemical dependency and its toxic impact on family members. Raise your children to
choose to be alcohol and other drugs free. Learn how to in Dr. Frisch’s, Psy.D.
Recovery book series—From Insanity to Serenity.
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