If you stop and think about it, commitment is not a thing, it’s an action. For commitment is more than sticking around, it’s the ultimate act of being around! Being around through good and bad—commitment guarantees that you will come to know intimately the twin sisters of any relationship—love and fear.

Commitment is an action whereas promises are mere words. Commitment is a conscious choice to act—to act in a specific way, to act towards a specific direction. That direction? Union rather than separation. Harmony rather than conflict. Cohesiveness rather than individuality. The act is a simple act. It’s an act of honor, an act of consideration—honoring your partner, always considering the well-being of the relationship.

Commitment is the ultimate act of being present and remaining present—present to the joys and sorrows that unfold between two people. To commit is to experience loss, to wrestle with surrender, to grow by subtraction. At the same time commitment frees you and your partner to grow and evolve without fear of disapproval and punishment. Simply put commitment is an act that communicates, “I’m here today and I’ll be here tomorrow no matter how bumpy the road might become.

Bridge Builder’s Checklist
1.) Commit to facing your fears about being involved with another person.
2.) Commit to learning how to face those aspects of a relationship that make you uncomfortable.
3.) Commit to working through rather than avoiding issues between you and your partner.
4.) Commit to making the welfare of the relationship more important than your own personal welfare.
5.) Commit to letting go of the use of chaos and abandonment as ways of controlling your partner.
6.) Commit to growing beyond the fears you have about loving and being loved.

For more information about commitment read chapter 8 (Commitment) in Dr. Frisch’s, Psy.D. free online book, Building Better Bridges: Creating Great Relationships With the People Who Matter Most.

G.B.U.

Steve