to Face Your Fears of Loving and Being Loved
by Dr. Steve Frisch, Psy.D.
is the choice of courageously becoming involved, being involved, and staying involved. But
more than just involvement, commitment is the embodiment of involvement, trust, support,
personal freedom, personal responsibility, and acceptance.
If you stop and think about it,
commitment is not a thing, its an action. For commitment is more than sticking
around, its the ultimate act of being around! Being around through
good and badcommitment guarantees that you will come to know intimately the twin
sisters of any relationshiplove and fear.
Commitment is an action whereas promises are mere words. Commitment is a conscious choice
to actto act in a specific way, to act towards a specific direction. That direction?
Union rather than separation. Harmony rather than conflict. Cohesiveness rather than
individuality. The act is a simple act. Its an act of honor, an act of
considerationhonoring your partner, always considering the well-being of the
Commitment is the
ultimate act of being present and remaining presentpresent to the joys and sorrows
that unfold between two people. To commit is to experience loss, to wrestle with
surrender, to grow by subtraction. At the same time commitment frees you and your partner
to grow and evolve without fear of disapproval and punishment. Simply put commitment is an
act that communicates, Im here today and Ill be here tomorrow no matter
how bumpy the road might become.
Bridge Builders Checklist
1.) Commit to facing your fears about being involved with another person.
2.) Commit to learning how to face those aspects of a relationship that make you
3.) Commit to working through rather than avoiding issues between you and your partner.
4.) Commit to making the welfare of the relationship more important than your own personal
5.) Commit to letting go of the use of chaos and abandonment as ways of controlling your
6.) Commit to growing beyond the fears you have about loving and being loved.
For more information
about commitment read chapter 8 (Commitment) in Dr. Frischs, Psy.D.
free online book, Building Better Bridges: Creating Great Relationships With
the People Who Matter Most.