How to Honor the Emotional Needs of You and Your Partner
by Dr. Steve Frisch, Psy.D
What is the heart and soul of
any relationshipthe reason why you even bother with all of the fuss and muss that
goes on in your relationships in the first place. In a wordneeds. Emotional
needs to be more precise. Your partner has something that you are seeking from
themacceptance, admiration, appreciation, esteem, love, a place in this world, a
sense of safety. You have the ability to offer those very same things to your partner.
If youre like
most people the word need might just give you the willies. The idea that you
actually may need something from someone, that youre not emotionally self-sustaining
may be a truth that youve hidden from for a long time. On the other hand, the idea
that you have a responsibility to fulfill in your relationshipthe emotional care and
feeding of your partner, may be equally uncomfortable for you to consider.
thistwo people are in relationship because of the emotional nutrition that one can
offer to the other. Its just that plain. Its just that simple. Fulfillment of
each others emotional needs is the bridge that connects one to the other.
Accepting that you and
your partners emotional needs are the fulcrum around which your relationship
revolves, you can better understand how to enrich the emotional and spiritual well-being
of your relationships as well as diagnose the problems that erupt when things arent
going well. For you can rest assured that at the core of what is going right in your
relationship is the satisfaction that comes when a person is feeling emotionally
fulfilled. Its just as likely at the core of whatever difficulties you may be
encountering with your partner is that one of you or both of you are feeling less than
So whats the
secret to Involvement? How can you best participate in your relationship to ensure that
you and your partners emotional and spiritual well-being is being honored?
Bridge Builders Checklist
1.) Commit to make the fulfillment of your partners emotional needs a priority.
2.) Commit to examining what emotions (yours) such as resentment, anger, jealousy,
retribution, or apathy prevent you from fulfilling your partners emotional needs.
3.) Commit to identify stimulate the emotions that prevent you from fulfilling your
partners emotional needs.
4.) Commit to resolving the circumstances that stimulate the emotions that prevent you
from fulfilling your partners emotional needs.
5.) Commit to express your emotional needs to your partner.
For more information about the skills that create loving Involvement in your relationships
by fulfilling your partners emotional needs, read chapter 1 (Involvement)
in Dr. Frischs, Psy.D. free online book, Building Better Bridges: Creating Great
Relationships With the People Who Matter Most and read the sections on Acceptance,
Emotional Needs in Dr. Frischs, Psy.D. free online book, Making
Molehills Out of Mountains