Freedom: How to Empower Your Partner to be Who They Are
Steve Frisch, Psy.D.
Is there anyone who hasnt wished at one time or another
that their partner could give more to the relationship than they were giving? Is there
anyone who at one time or another hasnt tried to point out to their partner how they
have it all wrongtheyre not communicating right, theyre not attending to
your wants and desires the way they should, theyre not opening up enough,
theyre not spending enough time with you, theyre not
, theyre not
Is it any surprise
then, when your partner pulls further away rather than gets closer, shuts down rather than
opens up more, becomes less rather than more available? Does your relationship leave room
for you and your partner to be who you are or motivate you to oppose who you want each
other to be?
Do you and your
partner give each other to be who you are? Are each of you able to freely express in words
and actions who you are? How do you limit who youre partner can be? How do you
attempt to shape who your partner is? These questions go to the heart and soul of the
degree of personal freedom that exists in your relationships.
It shouldnt be too hard to see the problem is not what you want for yourself in your
relationships as much as how you go about getting what you want in your relationships. As
Ive stated many times before the fulfillment of you and your partners
emotional needs is the heart and soul of your relationship but to do so while infringing
on the personal freedom of your partner will only poison your relationship.
So how can you create
and enhance personal freedom in your relationship? Consider the following and the
relevance it has to how you treat and are treated by your partner.
Personal freedom in a
relationship is about permissionpermission to be who each of you are. Personal
freedom in a relationship is about celebrationcelebrating the differences that exist
between you and your partner. Personal freedom in a relationship is about
honoringhonoring the innate value and worth that you and your partner have within
yourselves. Personal freedom in a relationship is about acceptanceaccepting that
your partner will likely always love you imperfectly.
1.) Commit to honoring who your partner is.
2.) Commit to developing tolerance for the differences that exist between you and your
3.) Commit to accepting your partner for who your partner is.
4.) Commit to stop trying to change who your partner is.
5.) Commit to appreciate how your partner expresses their love for you.
6.) Commit to empowering how your partner expresses who your partner is.
For more information about how to create personal freedom in your relationship, read chapter 5 (Personal
Freedom) in Dr. Frischs, Psy.D. free online book, Building
Better Bridges: Creating Great Relationships With the People Who Matter Most.