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Dr. Steve Frisch, Psy.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in
Chicago, Illinois and Northfield, Illinois.

You can contact Dr. Frisch, Psy.D. at
(847) 498-5611.

 


Trust: How to Make Your Relationship Safe for You and Your Partner

by Dr. Steve Frisch, Psy.D.

Trust is the glue that holds your relationship together. We all need to believe in our partner, to trust that they are someone who is safe, someone we can rely on, someone with whom we can be ourselves without fear of ridicule, judgment, or abandonment.

Trust exists in a relationship when you or your partner is able go there, whether that be conflict, emotional overload, or disappointment. More important than being able to go there, is being able to stay in spite of having gone there.

For trust is the inevitable outcome of words and actions matching. What creates more trust in your relationships—being told that your partner loves you but treats you in an unloving way or when your partner acts in a loving way, being told that your partner accepts you but treats you as if they don’t accept you or when your partner acts in an accepting way towards you, being told that your partner appreciates you but treats you as if they take you for granted or being treated in a manner that conveys how much your partner appreciates you.

Words are a dime a dozen. Actions are priceless. Words are tools of persuasion. Action is a window to your soul. Words can be used to manipulate. Actions can be used to communicate.

So if you want your partner to trust you, act in a trustworthy way. Trust is not something that you’re entitled to, it’s something that you earn. You earn it quite simply when your words and actions match.

Bridge Builder’s Checklist
1.) Commit to making sure that your words and actions match.
2.) Commit to acknowledging rather than explaining away those times that your words and actions don’t match.
3.) Commit to identifying the underlying relationship issue (see my free online book, Making Molehills Out of Mountains, for detailed explanation of underlying relationship issues—1.) Acceptance, 2.) Appreciation, 3.) Unmet emotional needs, 4.) Power and Control that is embedded in your unresolved issues.
4.) Commit to discussing with your partner the underlying relationship issue(s) that are the precipitant for the time(s) that your words and actions do not match.

For more information about how to create trust in your relationship, read chapter 2 (Trust) in Dr. Frisch’s, Psy.D. free online book, Building Better Bridges: Creating Great Relationships With the People Who Matter Most and read Dr. Frisch’s, Psy.D. free online book, Making Molehills Out of Mountains.

G.B.U.

Steve



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Stop Self-Sabotage
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