By Dr. Steve
Here to Return to
the Table of Contents
to the Journey
Every creator painfully experiences the chasm
between his inner vision and its ultimate expression.
-Issac Bashevis Singer
Our soul will awaken when we choose to honor ourselves rather than appease our little
ourselves or appeasing the little gods. Honoring ourselves? Just what is the act of
honoring ourselves? What does it look like? What does it involve? How does it take place?
are these little gods that we abandon ourselves to? What is the power they hold over us?
What is the fear that so paralyzes us that we choose to continue our relationship with
them rather than forge a different kind of relationship with ourselves?
lets start with the little gods. By what names are they known to us? How do they
appear in our lives?
Right vs. wrong
Fear of the unknown
Avoidance of pain
better understand the choices we make, its important to recognize how we pay homage
to our little gods rather than honor ourselves. Once we see how we forsake our soul for
these little gods, we can free ourselves to listen to our soul and find the things
necessary within ourselves to honor our soul. Take some time and look within yourself.
are the names of your little gods? What is the power they hold over you?
we become more aware of what our little gods are, we next need to learn about all the ways
that these little gods appear in our life, all the ways these little gods chip away at our
emotional and spiritual well-being. So take some time and tease out how words like
perfectionism and willfulness and other such
little gods that appear in your life and what impact their appearance has on your
flip side of this? Honoring ourselves? Being true to who we are? Be all that you can be?
Do these sayings have meaning to you or are they just overused clichés? Just what does
honoring ourselves mean, more importantly what does it look like in our day-to-day lives?
has been helping me with those very questions, sharing with me what it looks like for her,
giving me glimpses of what it might be for me.
feel like I woke up one day and asked myself, Where did I disappear to?
mean, like you were missing in action?
chuckled and said, Yea, in a manner of speaking, I guess you could put it that way.
whatever reason, I just came to realize that I had literally abandoned myself. Abandoned
my interests, my passions, all the things that brought me joy, they were no longer a part
of me, a part of my life.
has a way of doing that to us, I offered.
wasnt life, this was me doing it to me. I just lost, well no, it wasnt
interest, it was more like I lost touch, I lost touch with all those things that made
living life more of a celebration rather than a test of survival.
books I used to read, the walks along the lake every evening, my arts and crafts projects,
the long talks with my friends, there were so many ways I used to express myself, so many
ways I used to be involved with people, with life. Gone. It all just stopped.
know, now that you mention it, I remember how we used to talk about the music you were
writing, but I havent heard much about that anymore.
my point, but much worse than that was all the ways I was hurting myself. That was a whole
different way that I would abandon myself. All the choices I made, all the ways I was
sabotaging myself. I have so much shame about how out-of-control my life became.
I tried to get out a word of understanding.
nothing. I did things that just had no integrity to them. Those things cling to me like
sludge from a black lagoon.
those things still seem to cut real deep for you.
they do. So much waste, so much lost potential. And for what? Such a long time to go
without me. So long to go without, without my dignity, my joy, my passions. I gave it all
away, and sadly enough, I gave it all away so cheaply.
pain that was etched on her face reminded me of the pain I once saw on a mother who had to
bury her two-year old son.
was moved by Lauras profound sense of loss. But at the same time there was some sort
of transformation that came over her. So much pain yet at the same time it seemed she was
experiencing some sort of emancipation. It was as if revisiting her pain was enabling her
to reclaim a part of who she was. It seemed as if the bitterness was melting into
gratitude right before my very eyes.
was only guessing, but perhaps gratitude for the opportunity to grow, maybe for the
opportunity to complete something within her, or gratitude for the opportunity to learn
something new about herself, I didnt really know.
what I took away from that conversation has made me think long and hard about what it
means to honor ourselves. And what the connection between honoring ourselves and awakening
our soul is.
ourselves is a two-step process. The first step is reclaiming. We need to reclaim the
parts of ourselves that we have denied, pushed away, or cast aside. In order to honor
ourselves, we need to reclaim what is rightfully ours, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Our emotional experiences, we need to reclaim our passions, all the ways we express who we
are to the world.
Its an act of ownership. Its an act of courage, an act of living your life in
spite of the consequences of what that may bring to you rather than carving out a life
where you are what you believe the world wants you to be.
we reclaim these pieces, we need to next consistently give expression to all the parts of
who we are. We need to express them, and more importantly refine them, add to them,
connection to an awakening soul? Simple.
see, honoring ourselves is active, not passive. Its not something to be learned
about, its something we do.
end this section with an opportunity for you to identify parts of yourself that you long
ago abandoned. What are the parts of yourself that you have come to miss? What effect has
those parts of yourself not being there had on your life? Finally, what can you do to
start reclaiming those abandoned parts?
you begun to see from the very outset how much control you can begin to exercise over your
own journey? Hopelessness can give way to a new way of being in your life--all those
things that you dream about but are too frightened to create for yourself. Hopefully you
have begun to see how the first steps begin with the choices you make. Simply, do those
choices honor who you are or appease your little gods?
chemical dependency and its toxic impact on family members. Raise your
children to choose to be alcohol and other drugs
free. Learn how
to in Dr. Frischs, Psy.D. Recovery book series.